I hated Youngstown State University with a fiery passion when I first got here five years ago.
It was boring, hard and there was a lot of walking I wasn’t used to. I had no friends, didn’t know anyone and even though I spent hours upon hours studying, rewriting notes and tutoring, I failed every French test. I would call my mom crying every day because I didn’t want to do this anymore. I just wanted to be a hobo, and sometimes I still think that would be preferable.
She kept encouraging me to do my best and take things one day at a time. To write down what I had to do in order of due dates and just take things one task at a time. To take time out of the day to do something I enjoyed and just take life one breath at a time.
Mary Beth Earnheardt and Greg Graziosi gave me a chance as a general assignment reporter, and I sucked. I wasn’t ready yet, but I’m grateful I was given a chance. It allowed me to see the best in people and give them a chance too. I would like to thank Justin Wier for not strangling me at the time. I was put on the design desk at the end of that semester and I just worked my way up from there. I learned what I know from reading work like Justin’s.
I’ve seen some of the community’s greatest accomplishments, conflicts and even their worst moments.
In the end, I owe everything to my awesome support system, those who kept encouraging me to keep going when I just wanted to quit. To my mother, Lynn Rahuba; to my adviser and friend, Dave Davis; to the greatest business manager ever, Mary Dota; to my friends, Jordan Unger, Marah Morrison, Rachel Gobep and everyone else here, I couldn’t have done this without any of you. I owe everything I have become to you all.
There have been a lot of tears, swearing, blood and sweat. It hasn’t always been easy, but every moment was worth it.
To my staff:
I have been in a very bad place for the last year, and many of you definitely noticed. Depression and anxiety basically took over my life, and toward the end here my usual coping mechanisms no longer worked. I wound up having a panic attack in the office on a day where nothing was particularly wrong, so anyone who hadn’t noticed by then certainly figured it out.
The overwhelming support that night was incredible. The sense of compassion, understanding and love in The Jambar is beyond anything I’ve ever known. You guys are truly amazing people and a wonderful family. You deserve every kindness in the world.
I might be busy figuring out how to adult after graduation, but I will never be too busy for my Jamily. If you ever need anything, I’m here for you. I am leaving The Jambar in very capable hands. I fully believe Morgan Petronelli is going to be a great editor.
It has been a privilege and an honor to be the Editor-in-Chief and see it all through with you guys. You aren’t just a staff. You’re my friends and my Jamily.
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