By Mac Pomeroy
Lately, my life feels like every day is the exact same. Get up, go to class, eat, write, crochet. Your world lacks much variety when you spend every second of it within the four green walls of your bedroom. Well, my bedroom, I don’t know what color your walls are.
To state simply, my life right now is extremely boring. I worry about this leaking into my being, causing me to also be extremely boring.
I was never thrilling. I have never been some great story protagonist, adventure at every corner. I was someone. I went with the flow, seeing where the day would take me. This is where my columns and ideas would come.
I never quite realized how much I relied on spontaneity prior. Yet, when I considered it, it became so obvious. All of the jobs I have had were because of spontaneous choices. All of my friendships were due to random moments. If anything, I think I fall flat when it comes to actually planning things.
So, it isn’t shocking this current pattern has me feeling like I am in some kind of Groundhog Day horror movie. At this point, I feel like I am even having the same conversations everyday.
Being disabled doesn’t help the situation. I can’t leave my house to go for a jog, even when it isn’t winter. I currently don’t drive, so I can’t just get into a car and drive around. I think my folks are confused lately about why I am so eager to ride along when they go pick up something from Walmart, Inc.
I can’t really walk outside with the ice right now or else I may hurt myself.
During a time of such chaos and hurt, it seems outrageously selfish to write an article to complain about being bored. Perhaps it is, but it is also important. Just because we have been in this situation for a while, and because we need to play our parts to stay healthy and safe, doesn’t mean we stopped being human.
Throughout this whole thing, I have done my best. I stay home. I only interact with my family. I haven’t spent time with any of my friends since February of last year.
My cooperation doesn’t mean I haven’t been metaphorically banging my head against the same green wall. I find my mind asking about the weirdest things to keep itself occupied. That being said, does anyone know if grapes or grapefruit were named first?
There isn’t a final lesson to this article. I am still struggling to keep myself focused and calm during all of this. Slowly, though, I am getting the hang of this. It’s becoming less hard to find something nice in my everyday life, even if the nice thing is just when my sister texts me a photo of her cat, or drinking some tea.
Maybe right now, it is better to focus on the little moments than to stress about the big picture.