The Jambar Column: Adam’s advice corner

By Adam Telesz

Every day as I walk from hall to hall across our beautiful campus, I notice so many confused individuals going about their daily routine, struggling with moral, social and philosophical dilemmas, not knowing what the answers are or where to turn to. How will I ever pass this class? How do I get her to love me? Is there a God? If you are one of these fellow lost souls swimming in this fishbowl, look no further than this column as I will work assiduously in an attempt to fill the void.

Be the person who brings the doughnuts to work: Are you the type of person who feels unnoticed at work? Do you often notice that you are one of the most capable and studious employees but are often passed up by management? Often in professional, corporate environments, hard work and dedication are not enough to rise up the ranks — becoming the doughnut-bringer will fix this. 

The unfortunate reality of professional life is that, to some extent, you will be subjected to a revolving popularity contest — and who hates a person who brings food for everyone? This transcends doughnuts and can often be extended to bagels and other carb-based delicacies. Be friendly and bring food. Oh, and if you do, don’t bring the fruit ones, stick with glazed — everyone likes glazed.

Always put your shopping cart away: Life can be messy. Life can be painful. Sometimes we lose a piece of our heart, we watch loved ones struggle with illness and lose the inevitable race against mortality, sometimes she finds another guy who is taller and a lot funnier than you. Sometimes these soul-wrenching losses can have you asking, “What is it all for, what is the point?” Well, I can tell you, Kemosabe, it’s about cleaning up after yourself. 

If you are ever going to find a purpose, it is within, and it is only within that personal responsibility will make your life flourish. Attempting to make your life your main responsibility will give you a reason to carry on and will leave you looking in the mirror, shocked, at how far you’ve come all while minimizing catastrophic events. Putting your shopping cart away is the ultimate litmus test for evaluating self-responsibility. 

There is no law saying that you have to do it, and there is no gain or loss by doing it or not doing it. Simply put, it is a much deeper reflection of your sense of personal integrity and is a glimpse into the nature of your soul. Putting your cart away shows that you can, so when you do, slam it into the buggy depot as hard as possible and run away.

Buy real estate: Okay, not literally, but hear me out. Everyone needs a space, a place where they can fit in, a place where they can make friends, a place where they can meet lovers, a place of acceptance. 

Oftentimes in life it can feel like we don’t have a place, and when that happens, the self-doubt creeps in and the good times come to an end. But it doesn’t have to be that way, it doesn’t have to start with a space — it can start with a passion. 

That hobby or discipline you’ve had random dreams about, do it, and do it well. That cello you wanted to rent? Take your parents credit card and rent it — play it until your fingers are calloused. That pottery class you wanted to try but you talked yourself out of because “no one can make money from making and selling cups”? Do it, fail, and fail publicly — so when you are impressive at it, people will see it publicly. 

Create your own space, and one day, people will want to be what you are, and then the people will come. But also, literally invest in real estate — the universe isn’t making any more land, and equity yields sizable returns after many years. This goes both ways.