Jam-break our hearts: vol. 2

Apparently, you were all too busy to fill out our awesome word game. So, we did it for you. Here is just one example of the fun you could have had, which we would have published.


The Jambar has been lame this past week. We steadfastly can’t believe it! After several months and a parking ticket, Chris Cotelesse officially went crazy.

This was long overdue. If The Jambar truly wants to write editorials and improve its image among the student body, the administration can no longer turn a blind eye to these weak writers.

The students need to voice their concerns about this egregious error of journalism.

Until then, the magnificent saints that efficiently administrate this university will continue to do what’s best for you over a nice soft place.

And don’t even get us started on parking, tuition and hippies.

That last one is the worst. Here’s what Jordan Uhl had to say about that.

“Did you know that gummy worms have faces?” he said.

It’s like they don’t even care!

The collusion doesn’t end there. A public records request filed by The Jambar revealed that Cotelesse was crocheting cat blankets with Uhl in Fedor Hall.

First, Dunkin’ Donuts in Kilcawley Center doesn’t take gift cards or coupons and now The Jambar has the nerve to not write good editorials right under our noses.

Can you believe that? We sure can’t.

The point is our tuition dollars apparently cover drugs, hookers and three-piece suits. This cannot continue.

Ain’t nobody got time for that!