By Mac Pomeroy
If you were getting married, who would you pick to attend? For many people, the answer would be similar: friends, family, maybe some co-workers or neighbors. Even for those who prefer a very small wedding, at least family is usually invited.
However, what if you didn’t have the greatest relationship with your family? What if they were very negative people and you knew that they would not be supportive on your big day? Who do you invite then? Do you accept the negativity or aim for positivity?
This example probably sounds very specific, and that’s because this actually happened. This weekend, I had the honor of attending a wedding as one of the only guests. The bride is a dear friend of my family and doesn’t have a great relationship with her family. They are often very negative and they fight. She decided she didn’t want that on her wedding day.
In our daily lives, we are surrounded by people who aren’t the most positive. Of course, being a bit negative doesn’t make someone toxic. Often, people confuse having a different opinion with having a negative one when that is not the case.
Having a negative opinion is having an opinion that is directly harmful to others. Being a negative person is when you have many harmful opinions. And being toxic is when your words and actions start to deeply reflect this negativity.
We may find ourselves tied to negative or toxic people. Maybe they are family, co-workers or classmates. Avoiding any negativity isn’t possible because we don’t control every single person we come in contact with. But we can prevent ourselves from having to interact with these people outside of what is necessary.
For this bride, she wanted peace. She knew her family had a history of causing drama, and she did not want that on her wedding day. She made the decision to not be around that negativity.
This decision is one we need to make in our daily lives. The people we surround ourselves with make a large impact on who we are and how we view ourselves.
Even the most confident person can be torn down if surrounded by people who continue to make them feel that way. The strongest mental walls can be chipped away. Gradually, negative comments build up and risk becoming part of how you see yourself.
Dealing with toxic people is not worth it in the long run. People come and go, but you can’t leave yourself. You have a life to live, and constant negativity will prevent you from doing so.
At the wedding, the bride smiled and laughed. She was able to relax. She was surrounded by people who love her and have her best interests in mind.
Seeing how much happier she was made me think about how different the day would have gone if she had given in and invited her toxic family. She wouldn’t have been as lively. She would have been stressed, stuck between trying to please her family and actually enjoying her own wedding.
She made the best choice she could. She chose herself.