By Alison Butz
Spring is rapidly approaching, and it’s time for many of my irrational fears to reappear. For some reason, I am terrified of basically every single insect — especially any form of bee.
You could say I’m absolutely petrified of bees, including the ones that don’t sting, bite or otherwise harm you because I have been stung too many times to count. Thus, my fear of literally any flying insect started because I associated them with getting stung.
The first time I was stung by a yellow jacket was when I was around seven years old, running through my front lawn and minding my own business. That’s when the yellow jerk decided to weasel its way underneath my toenail.
It was painful to say the least. It could just be because I was a child, but it felt like I could not walk properly for a while afterwards. The sting caused me to always look where I’m walking, even if it’s a sidewalk.
From there, I believed that yellow jacket left me with a curse to be stung in the most inconvenient places known to mankind. I was once stung on my back in three different places within the span of an hour.
Cicadas and mayflies are two other flying creatures that are terrifying to me. Cicadas are too derpy looking and I am not a fan of that. I couldn’t tell you the reason for mayflies, though. I think it’s because of growing up and going to Cedar Point, where there’s always been a mayfly problem at some point in the summer.
This year will be a challenge for me with cicadas, since 2024 is a year where we will be seeing two different broods emerge. You will most likely not see me outside more than I have to be this summer.
Pincher bugs are also an irrational fear of mine because they are super ugly and mean, and they pinch. For some reason, they always showed up on my front porch only on July 4. When I was younger I had a dream that one had stolen my gummy sharks, and that was pretty rude. So, I vowed to despise them for the rest of my life.
Speaking of sharks, I am also terrified of them. I want to believe it was because of the movie “Jaws,” but I also think it’s just because their sharp teeth scare me too much.
Sharks live in oceans, which is another one of my greatest fears. Not being able to see the bottom of the ocean — that’s the scary part. Oh, and the sheer force of waves too.
Going completely left field, I am strangely afraid of tall people. I couldn’t tell you the exact reason but for some reason needing to crane my neck just to have a conversation makes me unsettled. You’re probably thinking, ‘wow, this girl is terrified of everything.’ You’d be right, I am.