By Matthew Sotlar / The Jambar
Welcome back, or if you’re a new student, I’m Matt Sotlar. If you don’t know me, you do now. You may recognize me from last year, or you may be thinking, “Man that guy needs a haircut.” Whatever you think, I want to welcome you to YSU.
How was my summer? Fantastic, thanks for asking. I went to Chili’s plenty of times, listened to a fair amount of Eddie Money, Styx and Loverboy and finished off a book of short stories and poems. While it may not sound too thrilling, I am not a thrilling guy. As the Eagles say, “Take It Easy.”
I know most people are going through the end-of-summer blues, don’t worry though, I’m not. Over the summer, I’ve found that it’s not worth stressing over little things. Sure that guy cut you off on the road, but in five years, you won’t remember it. If you do, then I admire your ability to hold a grudge.
Unfortunately, most of my summer was spent here in the great state of Ohio. I daringly tipped my toes into Pennsylvania a few times, but that’s about it. Mark my words, next year I’ll have visited at least half of the US. I won’t bet on it, though, because I know I’ll lose.
You may wonder, “What does this guy do all summer?” If you’re thinking I sit around and type up wisecracking columns, you’d be wrong. I just had this written two weeks in advance because I’m well prepared.
In all actuality, I worked a four-hour shift at Parking Services. The easiest job on Earth? Yes. The best job on Earth? For a college student, yes. Who doesn’t love sitting in a booth, pushing buttons and listening to Chic? Those with real aspirations and goals, I imagine.
On a completely unrelated but notable note, I saw a real-life bear in the woods. That’s right, I saw a bear. In many years, I’ll tell people I fought the bear and won, but for now, I’ll just be honest and say I saw it and ran like a baby. I was alone and had no one to verify the story, but if you come across the bear, he’ll confirm it.
Now it’s the wind down period. Soon the days will be shorter and the trees will start changing colors. That transition from summer into fall is almost magical, something from a Disney movie. I’m not a Disney fan, so pick the one that feels most appropriate for fall weather and we’ll run with it.
I didn’t watch any good movies this summer because there hasn’t been a good movie in months, though I’ve been told Deadpool 3 was good. I call it a cinema depression. We’re in the low point now, but soon enough we’ll be back on track with a good flick. Even LeBron, or rather, LeGOAT, lost a few games.
My parting word to the reader is ambition. If the freshmen are reading this, understand that if you walk onto campus with ambition and drive, you’ll accomplish anything you set your mind to. I was once a small-town kid wasting time in Wendy’s working a dead-end job. Look at me now, I’m Matt Sotlar.
